diff --git a/home/shrc b/home/shrc
index 39e9e65..4152b3f 100644
--- a/home/shrc
+++ b/home/shrc
@@ -185,6 +185,7 @@ rakef() ### @- make the freakin' gem!
   { rake && gem build *.gemspec && gem install *.gem "$@"; }
 
 alias 0x0.st="oxo"
+alias oshi.at="oshi"
 alias rg="rg -M200"
 
 # enable colors {{{2
diff --git a/sh/oshi b/sh/oshi
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0698fbd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/sh/oshi
@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env sh
+# YES_ZSH
+# YES_BASH
+# YES_DASH
+# YES_ASH
+
+__oshi() { ### @-
+    ### upload files (or stdin) to [oshi.at.](https://oshi.at)
+    ### this script exits with the number of failed uploads; up to 255 at once.
+    ### directories are skipped. for now, file expiry is hard-coded at 2 weeks.
+    ###
+    ### ```
+    ### $ echo test | oshi
+    ### MANAGE: https://oshi.at/a/7809e5e8a8b5c28555b1e8cadc99b069d08a5d09
+    ### DL: https://oshi.at/ReTn/Dxzy
+    ###
+    ### $ oshi ~/play/{hey,you,fake,empty}
+    ### MANAGE: https://oshi.at/a/9b56e4c5843006d491fabe859ea5746a8f36760c
+    ### DL: https://oshi.at/obFf/hey
+    ### oshi: expires in 14 days: /home/notwa/play/hey
+    ### MANAGE: https://oshi.at/a/f2dc46ae900ca7465a377d7a7942e722f87ff483
+    ### DL: https://oshi.at/JLBc/you
+    ### oshi: expires in 14 days: /home/notwa/play/you
+    ### oshi: no such file: /home/notwa/play/fake
+    ### oshi: skipping directory: /home/notwa/play/empty
+    ### oshi: successfully uploaded 2/4 files
+    ### oshi: failed to upload 2/4 files
+    ### ```
+
+    inform() { printf '\033[1moshi: %s\033[m\n' "$*"; } >&2
+    mutter() { printf '\033[31moshi: %s\033[m\n' "$*"; } >&2
+    lament() { printf '\033[1;33moshi: %s\033[m\n' "$*"; } >&2
+    recede() { printf '\033[1;31moshi: %s\033[m\n' "$*"; } >&2
+
+    hits=0 total=0
+
+    if [ $# = 0 ]; then
+        curl -f -F f=@- -F expire=20160 -F randomizefn=1 https://oshi.at && hits=1 || true
+        total=1
+    elif [ $# -gt 255 ]; then
+        recede "too many arguments (max: 255)"
+        return 255
+    else
+        total=$#
+    fi
+
+    for f; do
+        if [ ! -e "$f" ]; then
+            mutter "no such file: $f"
+            continue
+        elif [ -d "$f" ]; then
+            mutter "skipping directory: $f"
+            continue
+        elif [ ! -s "$f" ]; then
+            mutter "skipping empty file: $f"
+            continue
+        fi
+
+        # i have no idea why, but mingw64 curl on msys2 is replacing each unicode codepoint with a question mark.
+        # the irony is that it seems to be properly decoding the UTF-8 encoding and then replacing it all anyway.
+        [ -d /C ] && g="$(LC_ALL= cygpath -ws "$f")" || g="$f"
+
+        bytes="$(du -b -- "$f")" || bytes=0
+        if [ "$bytes" -gt 5000000000 ] 2>&-; then
+            mutter "file too large: $f"
+            continue
+        fi
+
+        if curl -fg -F f=@"$g" -F expire=20160 -F filename="${f##*/}" https://oshi.at; then
+            inform "expires in 14 days: $f"
+            : $((hits+=1))
+        else
+            mutter "failed to upload file: $f"
+        fi
+    done
+
+    if [ $hits -gt 0 ]; then
+        [ $hits = 1 ] && s= || s=s
+        inform "successfully uploaded $hits/$total file$s"
+    fi
+
+    fails=$((total-hits))
+    if [ $fails -gt 0 ]; then
+        [ $fails = 1 ] && s= || s=s
+        recede "failed to upload $fails/$total file$s"
+    fi
+
+    return $fails
+}
+
+oshi()(__oshi "$@")
+[ -n "${preload+-}" ] || __oshi "$@"