rc/sh/streamcrap

#!/usr/bin/env false
# awful things
# YES_ZSH
# YES_BASH
# NO_DASH
# NO_ASH

mpvs() { ### @- invoke mpv with some extra flags suited for streamed sources.
    mpv --quiet \
      --loop-playlist=no --no-resume-playback \
      --no-sub \
      --no-initial-audio-sync --mc=0.02 --autosync=30 \
      "$@"
}

# Q: Why are these variables prefixed with _M_?
# A: I don't remember. :shobon:
_M_PRE_EMPH='equalizer=f=50:g=-10:width_type=o:w=4,equalizer=f=5000:g=+5:width_type=o:w=4'
_M_POST_EMPH='equalizer=f=50:g=+10:width_type=o:w=4,equalizer=f=5000:g=-5:width_type=o:w=4'
_M_COMPRESS="acompressor=threshold=0.0032:ratio=1.414:attack=17:release=640:makeup=5.5:knee=8:mix=0.8"
_M_KILL="$_M_PRE_EMPH,$_M_COMPRESS,$_M_POST_EMPH"
_M_MULTI="volume=10,mcompand=0.256\,2.56 9 -90/-90\,-44/-44\,0/-26.4\,20/0 80 0 -44 0 | 0.128\,1.28 9 -90/-90\,-36/-36\,0/-18\,20/0 160 0 -36 0 | 0.064\,0.64 9 -90/-90\,-37/-37\,0/-18.5\,20/0 320 0 -37 0 | 0.032\,0.32 9 -90/-90\,-38/-38\,0/-19\,20/0 640 0 -38 0 | 0.016\,0.16 9 -90/-90\,-40/-40\,0/-20\,20/0 1280 0 -40 0 | 0.008\,0.08 9 -90/-90\,-41/-41\,0/-20.5\,20/0 2560 0 -41 0 | 0.004\,0.04 9 -90/-90\,-44/-44\,0/-22\,20/0 5120 0 -44 0 | 0.002\,0.02 9 -90/-90\,-52/-52\,0/-26\,20/0 10240 0 -52 0 | 0.001\,0.01 9 -90/-90\,-60/-60\,0/-36\,20/0 20480 0 -60 0"
_M_MULTI2="volume=10,mcompand=0.256\,5.12 9 -90/-90\,-46/-46\,0/-18.9\,20/0 62.9 0 -46 0 | 0.128\,2.56 9 -90/-90\,-34/-34\,0/-9.7\,20/0 141.1 0 -34 0 | 0.064\,1.28 9 -90/-90\,-37/-37\,0/-10.6\,20/0 316.8 0 -37 0 | 0.032\,0.64 9 -90/-90\,-39/-39\,0/-11.1\,20/0 711.2 0 -39 0 | 0.016\,0.32 9 -90/-90\,-41/-41\,0/-11.7\,20/0 1596 0 -41 0 | 0.008\,0.16 9 -90/-90\,-46/-46\,0/-13.1\,20/0 3584 0 -46 0 | 0.004\,0.08 9 -90/-90\,-49/-49\,0/-14\,20/0 8046 0 -49 0 | 0.002\,0.04 9 -90/-90\,-58/-58\,0/-23.9\,20/0 18062 0 -58 0"
_M_INSANE="$_M_PRE_EMPH,acompressor=threshold=0.001:ratio=2:attack=1000:release=9000:makeup=3:knee=6:mix=0.5,acompressor=threshold=0.002:ratio=2:attack=320:release=2880:makeup=3:knee=6:mix=0.5,acompressor=threshold=0.004:ratio=2:attack=100:release=900:makeup=3:knee=6:mix=0.5,acompressor=threshold=0.008:ratio=2:attack=32:release=288:makeup=3:knee=6:mix=0.5,acompressor=threshold=0.016:ratio=2:attack=10:release=90:makeup=3:knee=6:mix=0.5,$_M_POST_EMPH,alimiter"
_M_LESS_INSANE="$_M_PRE_EMPH,acompressor=threshold=0.0020:ratio=1.41:attack=1000:release=9000:makeup=2.2:knee=6:mix=0.6,acompressor=threshold=0.0028:ratio=1.41:attack=320:release=2880:makeup=2.2:knee=6:mix=0.6,acompressor=threshold=0.0040:ratio=1.41:attack=100:release=900:makeup=2.2:knee=6:mix=0.6,acompressor=threshold=0.0057:ratio=1.41:attack=32:release=288:makeup=2.2:knee=6:mix=0.6,acompressor=threshold=0.0080:ratio=1.41:attack=10:release=90:makeup=2.2:knee=6:mix=0.6,$_M_POST_EMPH,alimiter=level_in=2.2:level_out=0.45"
_M_NEO="equalizer=700:o:1.3:-5,equalizer=1200:o:1.3:-3,equalizer=1090:o:0.5:-5,equalizer=970:o:1.2:-10,equalizer=4100:o:0.3:-6"
_M_DANNY="$_M_PRE_EMPH,alimiter,dynaudnorm=f=400:g=5:p=1:m=32:r=0.1:c=1:s=9:t=0.0003,$_M_POST_EMPH,alimiter=level_in=2.6:level_out=0.91"

getladspa() {
    argc -eq 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    REPLY=volume
    if [ -e "/usr/lib/ladspa/${1}.so" ]; then
        REPLY="ladspa=f=${1}:p=${1}"
    fi
}

getladspa crap_level
_M_LEVEL="$REPLY"

earphones() {
    argc -eq 0 "$0" "$@" || return
    _M_PROCESS="lowpass=8000:p=1,$_M_KILL,alimiter=level_out=0.707"
}

case "$(uname -n | tr A-Z a-z)" in
    spectre)
        _M_PROCESS="$_M_DANNY,alimiter=level_out=0.7071"
        ;;

    neobanshee)
        speakers() {
            argc -eq 0 "$0" "$@" || return
            _M_PROCESS="highpass=311,$_M_KILL,$_M_NEO,alimiter=level_in=2"
        }
        speakers
        ;;

    banshee)
        getladspa crap_eq_const_T420
        _M_SPEAKERS="$REPLY"
        speakers() {
            argc -eq 0 "$0" "$@" || return
            _M_PROCESS="$_M_LEVEL,$_M_SPEAKERS,alimiter=level_in=0.5"
        }
        speakers
        ;;

    *)
        _M_PROCESS="alimiter"
        ;;
esac

mpv_watch() { ### @-
    ### play some media in mpv with a bunch of unnecessary filters.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    pushd ~/play >/dev/null
    local url="$1"; shift
    mpv \
      --af=lavfi="[$_M_PROCESS]" \
      --ytdl-format='[width<=1280]/best' \
      "$@" -- "$url"
    popd >/dev/null
}

mpv_stream() { ### @-
    ### watch a stream in mpv with a bunch of unnecessary filters.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    pushd ~/play >/dev/null
    local url="$1"; shift
    mpvs --af=lavfi="[$_M_PROCESS]" "$@" -- "$url"
    popd >/dev/null
}

twitch() { ### @-
    ### watch a twitch stream in mpv with a bunch of unnecessary filters.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    local user="$1"; shift
    mpv_stream "http://twitch.tv/$user" "$@"
}

yt() { ### @-
    ### watch a youtube video in mpv with a bunch of unnecessary filters.
    ### this can be given a full URL or just a video ID.
    ### remaining arguments are passed to mpv.
    ### there exist several variants for more specific use cases.
    ###
    ### **NOTE:** there also exists a yt(1) program provided by
    ### the *python3-yt* package that i don't use.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    local vid="$1"; shift
    [ -e "$vid" ] || [ "$vid" != "${vid#http}" ] || vid="ytdl://$vid"
    mpv_watch "$vid" "$@"
}

ytg() { ### @-
    ### watch a youtube video. like `yt`, but with a preference for different formats.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    local vid="$1"; shift
    yt "$vid" --ytdl-format=22/95/300/best "$@"
}

ytll() { ### @-
    ### watch a stream from youtube in mpv, etcetera etcetera.
    ### this is the low latency version that does not support seeking.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    youtube-dl -q -f best "$1" -o - | mpv_stream - --no-ytdl
}

ytgll() { ### @-
    ### watch a stream from youtube in mpv. like `ytll`, but with a preference for different formats.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    youtube-dl -q -f 22/95/300/best "$1" -o - | mpv_stream - --no-ytdl
}

ai() { # @-
    # hai domo!
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    yt "$@" --slang=en --sub-font='Tekton Pro' --sub-bold=yes \
      --sub-font-size=60 --sub-border-color='#DD6180' --sub-margin-y=52
}

asmr() { # @-
    # for your aural pleasure.
    argc -ge 1 "$0" "$@" || return
    _M_PROCESS="acompressor=threshold=0.001:ratio=1.33:attack=900:release=6000:makeup=6:knee=8:mix=0.9,alimiter" \
      yt "$@" --volume=90 --ytdl-format=251/300/best
}